Recovery After Harmful or Hurtful Ministry Experiences

When ministry becomes a source of pain rather than support, it can leave deep emotional and spiritual wounds. Experiences such as betrayal, exclusion, misuse of authority, or spiritual manipulation can shake your sense of trust, calling, and connection to God. You may feel disillusioned, confused, or even question your faith. Therapy offers a safe and understanding space to make sense of what happened, process the grief and anger that often follow, and begin to heal. Recovery is about reclaiming your voice, dignity, and the freedom to engage with faith in ways that bring peace and wholeness.

Book An Appointment

"It wasn’t supposed to end like this. I followed the call. I gave everything I had."

Psychological Support When Ministry Hurts

Ministry can be a deeply meaningful vocation—but it can also take a heavy toll. For some ministry leaders, the pain is overt: burnout, conflict, betrayal, or emotional exhaustion. For others, the hurt is more complex—perhaps a slow realisation that they were part of a system or leadership culture that caused harm to others, even unintentionally.

If you're a current or former ministry leader struggling to make sense of painful experiences in your role, you're not alone.

Common Experiences for Ministry Leaders in Distress

Burnout or compassion fatigue from carrying others’ burdens year after year
Conflict with leadership, elders, or congregants
Moral distress when decisions go against your conscience or values
Vicarious trauma from supporting people through abuse, grief, or crisis
Spiritual disillusionment—a crisis of belief when the institution fails to reflect the faith it proclaims
Grief or guilt from realising you may have been complicit in harmful dynamics
Loss of identity or purpose after stepping away from ministry

Even well-intentioned ministry involvement can become a source of emotional or spiritual injury—especially when power is misused, boundaries are blurred, or expectations are unrealistic and relentless.

Ministry leaders are often trained to put others first—to serve, to shepherd, to show up. But too often, that self-sacrifice goes unchecked, especially in environments where systems discourage vulnerability or reflection.

Some leaders have followed individuals they trusted, only to later realise they were complicit in decisions or practices that hurt others. That recognition can bring profound grief, confusion, and even crisis. Having a safe, clinically informed space to unpack that complexity is vital—not just for your own healing, but to ensure future ministry is grounded in integrity, empathy, and wisdom.

A Space to Unpack & Heal

Ministry leaders are often trained to put others first—to serve, to shepherd, to show up. But too often, that self-sacrifice goes unchecked, especially in environments where systems discourage vulnerability or reflection.Some leaders have followed individuals they trusted, only to later realise they were complicit in decisions or practices that hurt others. That recognition can bring profound grief, confusion, and even crisis. Having a safe, clinically informed space to unpack that complexity is vital—not just for your own healing, but to ensure future ministry is grounded in integrity, empathy, and wisdom.

A Space to Unpack & Heal for Ministry Leaders is Important

“Over the years, I’ve come to see how deeply spiritual abuse and faith-linked harm can shape a person’s sense of self, their relationships, and even their understanding of hope. These experiences often carry deep complexities, and I approach each story with respect, care, and a commitment to ethical, trauma-informed support.”

Kylie Walls,

Psychologist

REFUGE PSYCHOLOGY

Book a session online now

Bookings Page

Frequently Asked Questions about Therapy for Recovery from Clergy Perpetrated Sexual Abuse

What if I don’t know whether what happened was “harm”?

Ministry settings can be complex. You may still care about the people involved or feel conflicted about your own role. Some experiences feel more like disappointment or grief than overt abuse, while others carry deeper trauma. This is a space to process those experiences without pressure to apply a label. If something left you hurt, confused, or struggling, that’s reason enough to seek support.

I’m afraid I was part of the problem. Can I still get help?

Yes—this space is judgment-free and honours your intent to reflect and grow. Many ministry workers, leaders and parishioners look back with regret at moments when they followed the lead of someone they trusted or stayed quiet when they didn’t know what to say. Some feel grief over unintended consequences of their leadership. Healing includes the capacity to name, understand, and grow from these moments—not to be defined by them.

I think I'm experiencing burnout. Can you help with that?

Yes. Many people in ministry, church leadership, or faith-based roles experience seasons of deep emotional exhaustion, compassion fatigue, or burnout. Ministry often carries a unique weight: you are supporting others, holding confidential burdens, navigating complex relational or organisational systems, and sometimes trying to meet expectations that feel unrelenting. Over time, this can lead to feeling depleted, numb, overwhelmed, disconnected from God, or unsure how to keep going.

Burnout in ministry is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is often a sign of chronic stress, emotional over-functioning, or working within systems that have not supported your own wellbeing. In some cases, burnout is intertwined with experiences of church conflict, spiritual abuse, role overload, or being placed in situations where your values are compromised.

In therapy, we will explore both the emotional toll and the systemic pressures that have contributed to burnout. This may include:

Understanding the signs of burnout: emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational fatigue.
Identifying patterns of over-responsibility, people-pleasing, or self-silencing that can be common in ministry contexts.
Processing grief, disappointment, or disillusionment that may arise when ministry does not look like what was hoped for.
Reconnecting with your sense of identity, purpose, and boundaries in a way that allows your wellbeing to be restored.
Developing personalised strategies to support ongoing resilience, whether you remain in ministry or are considering changes.

This is a space where your faith, your story, and your experience of ministry are taken seriously. Support is offered without judgement, pressure, or agenda — just a steady, grounded place to help you make sense of what has been heavy, and to find a sustainable way forward.

You can read more about ministry burnout here: Ministry Burnout and the Cost of Caring: Support for Pastors and Clergy

Can this support help with leadership conflict or breakdowns in trust?

Yes. Leadership conflict and breakdowns in trust can be some of the most painful and destabilising experiences within ministry and church environments. When relationships between pastors, elders, ministry teams, or congregation members fracture, the emotional impact can be significant. These situations often involve layers of responsibility, power dynamics, role expectations, multiple relationships, and deeply held values, which makes the hurt feel personal, spiritual, and relational all at once.

Support is available for those who are:

Navigating ongoing tension, unresolved conflict, or communication breakdowns
Feeling caught between loyalty to others and the responsibility to act ethically
Processing experiences where power may have been misused, intentionally or unintentionally
Holding grief or confusion after trust was damaged or lost

In therapy, space is provided to make sense of what has happened, clarify emotional and relational needs, and understand the broader system influencing the conflict — without blame, pressure, or pushing a particular outcome. This may include:

Identifying where relational patterns or communication styles have contributed to the difficulty
Understanding how organisational culture or theology has shaped expectations and responsibilities
Supporting emotional recovery when trust has been fractured
Clarifying values and boundaries moving forward

The goal is not to take sides, but to help you step out of the emotional “tangle” and regain clarity, steadiness, and self-leadership. Whether the next step is reconciliation, redefining roles, or seeking a healthy transition, this is a space where your experience is taken seriously, and where your wellbeing is prioritised.

Is it safe to talk about spiritual or theological confusion here?

Yes—within appropriate boundaries. I am not theologically trained and won’t offer doctrinal answers. However, psychological support can help you explore where certain beliefs came from, how family systems, institutional environments, or leadership dynamics may have shaped your worldview, and how these influences have affected your emotional and spiritual well-being.

You are welcome to bring questions, doubts, and spiritual pain into the room. Ministry leaders sometimes need space to unpick belief systems they've carried for years, to grieve losses, or to rebuild a sense of personal faith on their own terms. Therapy does not aim to change your beliefs, but to support you as you reflect, make meaning, and move toward a healthier, more integrated sense of self.

Can I use my Mental Health Treatment Plan (MHTP)?

Yes. If you meet criteria and the GP provides a valid MHTP and referral, you may be eligible for Medicare rebates on up to 10 individual psychology sessions per calendar year. Sessions are conducted by a registered psychologist.

I wonder if I have mental health challenges associated with my experiences. I am feeling depressed, anxious, and traumatised. Can you help with this?

Yes. Many people who have experienced ministry-related stress, conflict, spiritual distress, or trauma notice emotional and psychological effects that continue long after the event or season has passed. Feeling anxious, low in mood, overwhelmed, numb, or constantly “on alert” can be signs that your mind and body are still trying to process what has happened.

As a registered psychologist, assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health conditions are available — including anxiety, depression, trauma-related conditions, and sometimes Adjustment Disorder, which is a very common and understandable response to significant stress or change. Experiencing these symptoms does not mean there is something wrong with you — it often reflects how much you have been carrying, often in silence, for a long time.

For some people, having a diagnosis can feel helpful and validating. It can give language to your experience and guide treatment. For others, a diagnostic label may feel unnecessary or uncomfortable. Both approaches are completely okay. Labels are simply tools — they do not define your identity or your worth. The focus of therapy is not on the label itself, but on ensuring you receive support that is targeted, evidence-based, and compassionate. If naming what is happening is helpful, we can do that. If it is more supportive to simply work with your lived experience and symptoms, we can do that too.

Therapy may involve:

Processing the emotional and spiritual impact of what you’ve been through
Supporting your nervous system to move out of survival mode
Making sense of grief, disillusionment, betrayal, or loss of belonging
Rebuilding trust in yourself, your relationships, and your sense of identity
Developing grounding and regulation strategies that restore steadiness

This is a space where your story is taken seriously — including the role faith, community, calling, and meaning hold in your life. Healing is possible, at a pace that honours where you are now.

Are you going to talk me out of my faith, or encourage me towards deconstruction?

No. The aim of therapy is not to steer you toward or away from any particular belief or position. Your faith, values, and lived experience are respected. People come to therapy with a wide range of spiritual backgrounds — some are deeply committed to their faith and want support that honours that; others are questioning, confused, or grieving the loss of a spiritual community; and some feel caught somewhere in between.

Therapy is not about convincing you to deconstruct or reconstruct your faith. It is about creating space to explore what you have been through, how it has affected you, and what you need in order to feel grounded, whole, and connected again — in ways that are aligned with your own values, not someone else’s expectations.

For some, healing may look like reconnecting with faith in a renewed or gentler way.

For others, it may involve setting boundaries with certain teachings, leaders, or systems while maintaining a personal relationship with God.

For others still, it may involve grieving, questioning some aspects of faith, or integrating complex experiences at a pace that feels safe.

The goal is not to prescribe the outcome.

The goal is to support you — your wellbeing, your agency, your voice, and your sense of spiritual and emotional safety.

Your faith is welcome here. Your questions are welcome here. Your story is welcome here.

I still care deeply about my congregation and my calling. Can therapy support that, rather than undermine it?

Yes. Seeking therapy does not mean stepping away from your calling — it means caring for the one who is carrying it. Many ministry leaders enter therapy because they do care deeply, and they want to lead from a place that is steady, wise, and grounded rather than exhausted or overwhelmed.

Therapy is not focused on encouraging you to leave ministry, abandon your community, or shift your beliefs. The focus is on strengthening your wellbeing so that your leadership, pastoral presence, and discernment remain sustainable. Ministry involves emotional labour, spiritual responsibility, and the weight of holding others’ stories — and it is normal for this to have an impact over time.

In therapy, space is provided to:

Process the emotional toll of leadership, conflict, grief, or disappointment
Explore pressures, expectations, and identity as they relate to your calling
Reconnect with your sense of purpose in ways that feel life-giving rather than depleting
Clarify boundaries and rhythms that support long-term ministry health
Recover your capacity for presence, discernment, and compassion

This is not about pulling you away from your community. It is about helping you remain present in a way that is healthy, sustainable, and aligned with your values.

Your commitment to your congregation is respected here.

Your wellbeing matters too.

Are sessions available online?

Yes, all sessions are delivered online, which allows for flexible access across Australia—including rural and remote areas. Online support also provides added confidentiality for those in visible ministry roles.