Marriage Breakdown & Betrayal
The end of a marriage or long-term relationship—especially one marked by betrayal—can leave you feeling shattered, confused, and alone. Whether you're navigating infidelity, emotional abandonment, or the gradual erosion of trust, it's common to question your worth, your choices, and your future. At Curated Mind Psychology, support is available to help you process the pain, rebuild your sense of self, and begin to heal. You don’t have to make sense of it all on your own.
"Growth happens when we process our pain, seek clarity, and make decisions that honour our values, safeguard our emotional health, and consider the well-being of those we care for"
Information about Coerive Control
If I am experiencing relationship breakdown and betrayal, is it better to get individual or couples therapy?
Whether individual therapy or couples therapy is more suitable depends on your unique situation and needs. If you're facing the aftermath of marriage breakdown or betrayal, both individual and couples therapy can offer valuable support. Individual therapy allows you to process your emotions, heal from trauma, and gain clarity on what you want moving forward. Couples therapy, on the other hand, can help both partners address relationship dynamics, rebuild trust, and work through issues together.
Trauma recovery is not about erasing the past but learning to move forward with strength and self-compassion. Support is available.
Scientific research suggests that emotional dysregulation—an impaired ability to manage emotional states—is at the core of many psychological disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, mood disorders, and interpersonal and complex trauma. Emotional dysregulation is often linked to early interpersonal trauma, where distressing experiences in childhood can sensitise the nervous system, making it harder to regulate emotions later in life.
Trauma affects individuals in different ways. You may experience:
• Persistent feelings of fear, shame, or guilt
• Anxiety, hypervigilance, or difficulty feeling safe
• Emotional numbness or detachment from others
• Self-doubt, low self-worth, or difficulty setting boundaries
• Flashbacks, intrusive memories, or nightmares
• Difficulty getting to sleep, and sleep disturbance.
• Challenges in personal relationships.
How can I tell the difference between an abusive, destructive relationship and general unhappiness within my marriage?
Distinguishing between an abusive, destructive relationship and general unhappiness in marriage can be difficult, but there are key differences to consider. In an abusive relationship, the patterns of behaviour often involve control, manipulation, emotional, verbal, or physical harm. There may be threats, belittling, intimidation, or other actions that make you feel unsafe, powerless, or fearful. Abuse erodes your sense of self-worth and can make you feel trapped or isolated.
Unfaithfulness, emotional neglect, or a partner who consistently demonstrates a lack of care or empathy can also create significant pain in a relationship. While these behaviours may not involve direct abuse, they still contribute to deep emotional harm and can be destructive to the foundation of trust and connection in a marriage. A partner who is emotionally neglectful or unfaithful might dismiss your needs, disregard your feelings, or withdraw affection, making you feel invisible or uncared for.
In contrast, general unhappiness within a marriage often stems from factors like communication breakdowns, unmet emotional needs, or external stressors. These challenges can lead to discontent but typically don’t involve harmful or controlling behaviours.
If you're unsure of what you're experiencing, seeking support from a professional can help you work through your unique situation. A therapist can guide you in exploring your feelings, understanding the dynamics of your relationship, and considering your options in a safe, nonjudgmental space. This process can help you gain clarity on what steps may be best for your emotional and mental wellbeing, as well as provide support as you navigate this difficult time.
Is it possible for a marriage to survive betrayal
Yes, it is possible for a marriage to survive betrayal, but it depends on many factors. Both partners need to be willing to engage in healing, rebuild trust, and work through the pain caused by betrayal. It’s essential to explore the root causes of the betrayal, the emotional impact it’s had on both individuals, and whether both partners are committed to the healing process. Forgiveness, clear communication, and a willingness to change behaviours are all important aspects of rebuilding a relationship after betrayal. However, the process can be long and challenging, and not all couples may be ready or able to rebuild their marriage. I will support you in processing your feelings, understanding the dynamics at play, and deciding what steps are healthiest for you, your partner, and your relationship.
I've been told that, because of my religious beliefs, there's no justification for leaving my partner. How would you respond to that?
This is a very personal and complex question, and I understand that it can feel difficult to navigate. While some people may point to biblical teachings on marriage and divorce, it's important to remember that God’s heart is for healing, restoration, and emotional well-being. Marriage is about more than just faithfulness in a literal sense—it involves emotional connection, respect, trust, and mutual care. If your marriage is unhealthy or emotionally destructive, it’s vital to assess how it’s affecting your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I can help you process these questions and emotions while respecting your beliefs and values. Ultimately, the decision about what to do in your marriage is yours to make, but you don’t need to face it alone. My goal is to support you in understanding your feelings, healing from hurt, and making empowered decisions about your future, whether that involves working through challenges or choosing a different path for your well-being.
Support is Available
If you’re facing the pain of betrayal or the breakdown of a marriage, please know that support is available. These experiences can be deeply disorienting—shaking your sense of self, safety, and even your spiritual grounding. It's okay to grieve, to question, and to seek help as you navigate this season. Kylie Walls, Psychologist, offers a thoughtful and compassionate space to process what you’ve been through and take steps toward healing and wholeness.
Frequently Asked Questions
My marriage has broken down, and I feel like my whole world has fallen apart. Can therapy really help?
Yes. The end of a marriage often brings grief, confusion, and a sense of loss — not only of the relationship, but of shared dreams, family routines, and spiritual identity. Many people describe feeling as though the ground beneath them has shifted.
Therapy provides a safe space to process these emotions, understand what has happened, and begin to rebuild a sense of stability and hope. As a psychologist, I work with you to explore the impact of the separation, strengthen coping skills, and support you in rediscovering who you are outside the relationship. Healing takes time, but recovery is possible.
Why do I feel such intense grief and anger, even though I chose to leave?
Even when separation is necessary, it can still feel devastating. You may grieve the loss of the relationship you hoped for, or feel anger at betrayal, unmet promises, or years of effort that didn’t bring change. These emotions are natural responses to loss and disillusionment, not signs of failure.
Therapy can help you process the pain, release self-blame, and find ways to channel anger into healing and personal growth.
My partner betrayed me — how do I recover from the shock and loss of trust?
Betrayal, whether emotional, physical, or spiritual, strikes at the core of safety and trust. Many people describe symptoms similar to trauma — intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and difficulty trusting themselves or others.
In therapy, we focus on understanding the impact of betrayal and rebuilding your sense of stability and self-worth. You don’t have to decide right away whether forgiveness or reconciliation are possible; therapy can help you discern what recovery and safety mean for you, and what boundaries or choices will best support your wellbeing.
How can I make sense of betrayal in a Christian or faith context?
When infidelity, deception, or emotional harm happen within a marriage of faith, the pain often runs deeper. It can shake your spiritual foundations, leaving you questioning where God was in it all, or whether you failed in some way. You might also feel conflicted by church messages about forgiveness, endurance, or divorce.
In therapy, there is space to explore both the psychological and spiritual impact of what’s happened — without judgment or pressure. Together we can process grief, anger, and confusion, and begin to rebuild a sense of faith and identity that feels authentic, compassionate, and grounded in your lived experience.
I feel ashamed and isolated since my marriage ended. Is this normal?
Yes. Many people experience shame after separation, particularly when faith or cultural expectations emphasise marriage permanence or discourage divorce. You may fear judgment from your community or feel like you no longer “fit.”
Therapy can help you challenge internalised shame and reclaim a sense of dignity and self-worth. It can also provide support in navigating community responses and finding safe spaces where you can be seen, understood, and valued without stigma.
I’m struggling to forgive — is that something therapy can help with?
Forgiveness is often misunderstood as excusing harm or rushing toward reconciliation. In reality, healing and forgiveness — if and when they come — are gradual processes that begin with safety, truth, and emotional honesty.
Therapy can help you explore what forgiveness means for you, how to release resentment without minimising harm, and how to move toward peace, whether or not the relationship continues. In faith-sensitive therapy, this may include integrating your spiritual beliefs in a way that supports your recovery rather than compounds guilt or pressure.
What is Depression
Depression is more than just feeling sad or having a bad day. It’s a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest that can affect how you think, feel, and handle daily activities. People with depression might experience symptoms such as feeling tired all the time, having trouble sleeping, losing interest in hobbies, feeling worthless or guilty, and even having difficulty concentrating. It can also cause physical symptoms like aches and pains.
What Causes Depression
There are many reasons why someone might experience depression. It can be triggered by significant life changes, such as losing a job, going through a breakup, or experiencing the death of a loved one. Sometimes, it runs in families, suggesting a genetic link. Other times, it might be related to ongoing stress, trauma, or certain medical conditions.
Understanding the specific reasons behind someone’s depression is crucial, which is where the concept of "formulation" comes in. Formulation is like creating a map of a person’s unique experiences, thoughts, and feelings to understand what might be contributing to their depression. This helps in choosing the right treatment approach, ensuring it’s tailored to the individual’s needs.
The Consequences
Depression can often lead to a vicious cycle. When you’re feeling down, it’s hard to find the motivation to do the things you once enjoyed. This lack of activity can make you feel even worse, leading to even less motivation. Breaking this cycle is an important part of recovery.
Depression can also affect relationships. It may cause you to withdraw from loved ones, feel irritable or misunderstood, or struggle to communicate. Over time, this can lead to conflict, disconnection, or isolation, which may deepen feelings of sadness and loneliness.
Work and study can also become difficult. Concentration may suffer, energy levels can drop, and small tasks may feel overwhelming. This can impact job performance or make it hard to keep up with responsibilities, sometimes leading to job loss or academic struggles—further affecting self-esteem and hope for the future.
In severe cases, depression can lead to thoughts of suicide. If this is happening, it’s important to know that you are not alone, and help is available.
Support is Available
Kylie, an online Psychologist and experienced counsellor, uses a combination of therapies to help break this cycle and support recovery. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps change negative thought patterns, while Schema Therapy addresses deep-rooted beliefs. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages embracing emotions and committing to actions that align with personal values. Emotional Focused Therapy and Gottman Therapy can also be used to address relational concerns that are contributing to depression.
Book a session through the online portal today, or phone on:
1300 618 377
Take the next step toward healing and hope. Book your confidential online session with psychologist Kylie Walls and access compassionate, trauma-informed support wherever you are in Australia.
Our online booking portal allows you to book, review and cancel appointments from the comfort of your lounge chair.
Rebates are available with a Mental Health Treatment Plan