The Story of Refuge Psychology…

Across years of working with people in schools, community settings, and now in private practice, I found myself repeatedly sitting with adults who were carrying the cost of trying to survive within complicated systems — families, intimate relationships, workplaces, caregiving roles, institutions, and faith communities.

Often, the difficulties looked familiar on the surface: anxiety, low mood, burnout, relationship distress, shame, emotional reactivity, or disconnection. But again and again, it became clear that these struggles had developed in interaction with context. Power imbalances, chronic pressure, unmet emotional needs, and environments that did not feel emotionally or psychologically safe shaped the ways people learned to cope, relate, and protect themselves. Over time, these coping responses — such as self-criticism, people-pleasing, emotional withdrawal, hyper-responsibility, vigilance, or over-control — can become entrenched patterns that begin to interfere with wellbeing, relationships, work, and identity.

This understanding was shaped not only in therapy rooms, but through roles in education, domestic and family violence response, and organisational and faith-based settings. In these contexts, I saw how distress often develops gradually rather than through a single dramatic event. Ongoing pressure, blurred boundaries, unrealistic expectations, or repeated dismissal can wear people down over time. Many people come to therapy unsure whether what they experienced was “serious enough” to matter, questioning their own reactions, and wondering whether their distress is valid.

Although I work with people from all backgrounds and with those who have experienced challenges in a range of contexts, my work includes a focus on supporting people affected by complex relational and systemic dynamics within faith settings, with culturally sensitive and ethical care.

I am faith-affirming in my approach, and this interest sits within a broader, trauma-informed lens. I recognise that, for some, shared cultural understanding around faith can be an important part of feeling understood in therapy. Having worked and volunteered within religious and ministry environments, I understand the meaning, commitment, and hope faith can bring, alongside the complexity that can arise when spiritual authority is misused, faith concepts are misused, distress is spiritualised, or people are not adequately protected. For some clients, faith remains a vital source of meaning, resilience, and hope; for others, it has become complicated, painful, or fractured through experiences of control, betrayal, or silencing. For others, faith has become more complicated, carrying both loss and significance.

Over time, schema therapy became the framework that most closely matched what I was seeing in practice. It offered a way to make sense of why certain emotional and relational patterns repeat — and why insight alone is often not enough to shift them. Importantly, schema therapy holds two truths at once: that these patterns once made sense and helped people cope, and that meaningful change requires active work to develop new ways of responding, relating, and meeting needs.

Refuge Psychology was created to provide thoughtful psychological care that helps people understand their experiences of distress in context, and to support change — moving out of survival patterns and behaviours toward greater flexibility, agency, and wellbeing. Faith, values, and belief are never assumed or imposed, but are held with care if they are meaningful to you.

At its core, Refuge Psychology exists to provide refuge — a place where patterns can be named honestly, change can be worked toward deliberately, and people are supported in making sense of their experiences and moving forward.