Marriage Counselling and Couples Counselling online with a psychologist
“A lasting relationship is built by two people who can weather the storms and still hold each other close.”
Are you feeling disconnected, constantly arguing, or struggling with sadness, resentment, or loneliness in your relationship? Relationship Therapy is available to help you navigate the challenges of intimate relationships and work toward healing and connection.
Couples therapy and Marriage Counselling provides a structured space to explore the patterns that keep you feeling stuck — whether that’s ongoing conflict, disconnection, or unspoken resentment. A psychologist can help you identify unmet needs, improve communication, and rebuild trust. The goal isn’t about assigning blame but understanding what each partner experiences in the relationship and developing healthier, more supportive ways of relating. Over time, this process can foster empathy, closeness, and renewed commitment.
support for fighting, communication breakdown and emotionaldistance in your marriage
Many couples find that communication difficulties are at the heart of ongoing tension or disconnection. You may feel unheard, invalidated, or caught in repeated arguments that never seem to resolve. Couples therapy provides an opportunity to slow down these interactions, understand what drives them, and learn skills to listen, respond, and express your needs more clearly and calmly.
Evidence-based approaches such as Schema Therapy for Couples, the Gottman Method, and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) focus on identifying each partner’s underlying emotional needs and attachment patterns. You’ll learn to express vulnerability instead of defensiveness and respond to one another in ways that build safety and emotional closeness. Over time, these changes can transform the way you relate — reducing tension, deepening understanding, and restoring a sense of connection that may have felt lost.
support for when trust has been broken due to an affair, or when another trust breach has occured such as a gambling or substance addiction
Rebuilding trust after betrayal, secrecy, or significant hurt is one of the most challenging yet rewarding processes in couples therapy. When trust is damaged, both partners often experience a mix of pain, fear, guilt, or resentment. Therapy provides a structured and compassionate space to unpack these emotions safely, understand what contributed to the breakdown, and begin the gradual work of repair.
Through guided conversations, you’ll have the opportunity to express hurt and remorse in ways that promote healing rather than blame. A psychologist can help both partners learn what rebuilding safety looks like — through consistency, transparency, empathy, and accountability. While recovery takes time, many couples find that the process not only restores trust but also leads to deeper honesty, renewed respect, and a stronger emotional bond built on authenticity and mutual care.
Releationship Challenges that i can help with:
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Communication & Conflict
Ongoing arguments or recurring unresolved conflict.
Difficulty expressing needs, feelings, or boundaries. Feeling misunderstood, unheard, or dismissed
Avoidance of conflict or emotional withdrawal.
Escalating or destructive communication patterns.
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Emotional Disconnection
Loss of emotional closeness or intimacy
Feeling lonely within the relationship
Lack of affection, warmth, or responsiveness
One partner feeling significantly more invested than the other
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Trust & Safety
Infidelity (emotional or physical)
Betrayal of trust or secrecy
Jealousy, suspicion, or controlling behaviour
Difficulty rebuilding trust after ruptures
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Attachment & Dependency Patterns
Fear of abandonment or rejection
Anxious or avoidant attachment dynamics
Over-dependence or emotional enmeshmentFear of closeness or vulnerability
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Schema-Driven Relationship Patterns
Repeatedly choosing emotionally unavailable or unsafe partners
Strong fear of being left, unloved, or replaced
Excessive self-sacrifice or people-pleasing
Emotional withdrawal, shutdown, or detachment during conflict
Intense anger, defensiveness, or blame when triggered
Feeling chronically unvalued, criticised, or controlled
Difficulty trusting others’ intentions
Re-enacting family-of-origin patterns in adult relationships
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Life Transitions & Stressors
Parenting stress or differing parenting values
Pregnancy, infertility, or post-natal strain
Caring for ageing parents or extended family conflict
Financial stress or work-related pressure
Illness, disability, or chronic health conditions
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Sexual & Intimacy Concerns
Mismatched desire or sexual dissatisfaction
Avoidance of intimacy
Shame, anxiety, or trauma impacting sexual connection
Difficulty discussing sexual needs or boundaries
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Family, Faith & Cultural Factors
Relationship strain shaped by family-of-origin dynamics or intergenerational patterns
Tension arising from differing values, beliefs, or cultural expectations
Desire to seek relationship support from a psychologist who is faith-sensitive and respectful of personal beliefs
Challenges navigating relationships within religious or faith-based contexts
Experiences of spiritual harm, misuse of religious authority, or faith-related control
Difficulty integrating faith, values, and psychological wellbeing within relationships
Navigating relationships when faith or belief systems have shifted or changed
My Primary Therapy Modalities:
Schema Therapy - Individual and Couples (Primary Modality)
Schema Therapy is my primary modality, and is an evidence-based psychological approach that supports the processing of trauma and helps people understand and change long-standing patterns of thinking, feeling, and relating that often develop in response to unmet emotional needs or adverse early experiences. It is particularly helpful for individuals who notice repeated relational patterns, entrenched coping responses, or ongoing difficulties with self-worth, emotions, or boundaries.
Schema Therapy uses a range of techniques, including cognitive strategies to identify and challenge unhelpful beliefs, experiential techniques such as imagery and chair work to process emotional and relational experiences, and behavioural strategies to support new, healthier patterns of coping. The therapeutic relationship itself is also an important part of the work, providing a corrective emotional experience that supports healing, emotional regulation, and lasting relational change.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy & Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP)
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based approach that focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour that contribute to emotional distress. It supports people to develop practical skills for managing symptoms, improving coping, and responding to challenges in more balanced and adaptive ways.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is a specialised, evidence-based form of therapy used primarily to treat obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) and related anxiety conditions. It involves gradually and safely facing feared thoughts, situations, or sensations while learning to resist compulsive or avoidance behaviours, helping reduce anxiety and build confidence over time.
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence-based therapy designed to help people process and resolve traumatic or distressing memories that continue to impact their emotional wellbeing. By using bilateral stimulation while recalling difficult experiences, EMDR supports the brain’s natural healing processes, reducing the intensity of trauma-related distress and helping memories become less overwhelming over time.
Gottman Therapy & Emotionally Foused Therapy (Couples & Relationships)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based, attachment-informed approach that helps individuals and couples understand, experience, and express emotions in healthier ways. It focuses on identifying emotional patterns and strengthening secure connection, supporting deeper emotional safety, responsiveness, and lasting relational change.
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is an evidence-based approach to relationship therapy grounded in decades of research on what helps relationships thrive or break down. It focuses on strengthening friendship, improving communication and conflict management, increasing emotional connection, and reducing patterns such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and withdrawal through practical, structured interventions.
Have questions about mental health support?
Q&A
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Yes. Research shows that online therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face sessions for a wide range of concerns, including depression, anxiety, trauma, and relationship issues. It also offers convenience, privacy, and access to support regardless of location. All sessions are conducted via a secure telehealth platform.
Online couples therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions for most couples. It offers the same structured, evidence-based support — including Schema Therapy for Couples and the Gottman Method — in a flexible and accessible format. Many couples find online sessions more comfortable and convenient, allowing both partners to join from different locations if needed. The focus remains on creating a safe, supportive space to communicate openly, rebuild connection, and work toward shared goals. All you need is a private, quiet space and a stable internet connection.
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Couples therapy draws on evidence-based approaches, including Schema Therapy for Couples, The Gottman Method, and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT). Schema Therapy helps partners identify long-standing emotional patterns (or “schemas”) that influence how they think, feel, and react in relationships. The Gottman Method focuses on strengthening friendship, improving communication, and reducing conflict through practical skills that help couples reconnect and work as a team. Together, these approaches promote understanding, empathy, and lasting change by combining emotional insight with practical tools for daily life.
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Schema Therapy for Couples explores how early life experiences shape the emotional patterns and “modes” that influence our relationships as adults. When stress or conflict arises, these modes—such as withdrawal, criticism, or over-compliance—can take over and create distance. In therapy, you’ll learn to recognise these patterns and understand the vulnerable emotions driving them. The focus is on compassion and repair rather than blame. Couples work toward meeting each other’s core emotional needs in healthy, secure ways, leading to deeper connection, trust, and emotional safety within the relationship.
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The Gottman Method is a research-based framework that helps couples build stronger relationships through improved communication, emotional attunement, and conflict management. Using decades of research, it identifies behaviours that strengthen or weaken relationships. In therapy, couples learn practical tools to reduce criticism and defensiveness, increase fondness and respect, and enhance shared meaning. Over time, these skills help partners rebuild trust, foster friendship, and create a stable foundation for lasting connection. -
Yes. That is one of the benefits of seeking Marriage counselling or couples therapy from a psychologist with experience in the treatment and diagnosis of mental health conditions. Trauma or mental health challenges can affect how partners connect, communicate, and respond to stress or conflict. Couples therapy provides a supportive space to understand these reactions and develop strategies to respond to one another with empathy and care. Schema Therapy is particularly helpful in identifying how past experiences and emotional patterns influence current relationship dynamics, while Gottman-informed approaches offer practical tools to build stability, trust, and emotional safety. Through this process, couples can strengthen their relationship, foster resilience, and move toward greater understanding and connection. If Kylie feels that individual therapy or additional assessment would also be of benefit, she will make this recommendation during your sessions.
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The length of therapy varies depending on the nature of your concerns and the goals you set together. Some couples notice meaningful progress after six to ten sessions focused on communication or conflict repair, while others choose to engage longer-term to explore deeper emotional or relational patterns. Schema Therapy for Couples and the Gottman Method are both flexible frameworks that can be tailored to your pace and priorities. Regular review points ensure the process remains focused and helpful. -
It’s possible to attend a single session if you have a specific concern you’d like to discuss or need guidance on one issue. However, couples therapy is generally most effective when there is a commitment to several sessions — usually four or more — to allow time for understanding patterns, practising new skills, and creating lasting change. In some cases, I work with couples over a longer period as they invest in rebuilding trust, improving communication, and strengthening their relationship foundation. The length of therapy depends on your goals and the level of support that feels most helpful for you both. -
Yes. Couples therapy can be valuable even when one or both partners are uncertain about the future of the relationship. Therapy provides a neutral and supportive space to clarify what has led to this point, explore underlying needs and emotions, and consider what each person hopes for moving forward. The focus is not on forcing a decision but on creating understanding, reducing conflict, and helping both partners make thoughtful choices about their next steps — whether that involves rebuilding the relationship or separating with care and respect.
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Couples therapy is not always appropriate when there is ongoing domestic or family violence, as safety must always come first. In situations where one partner feels fearful, controlled, or unsafe, individual support is usually the best starting point. However, when there has been violence in the past and both partners feel safe, stable, and motivated to work toward accountability and change, therapy may be considered carefully and with clear boundaries in place.
If you are unsure, please reach out. Depending on your circumstances, I may suggest that each of you seeks individual support first, or that we begin with a risk and safety assessment through separate individual sessions. However, if you are currently experiencing fear, control, or violence in your relationship, please contact emergency services or a specialist support service such as 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) for 24-hour confidential support and advice. Your safety and wellbeing are the highest priority.
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Yes. Pre-marriage counselling can be a valuable way to strengthen your relationship before marriage or a long-term commitment. Sessions focus on developing healthy communication, exploring expectations, understanding values and beliefs, and learning practical strategies for navigating future challenges together. Whether you’re wanting to build a strong foundation, prepare for changes ahead, or explore how faith and values shape your relationship, therapy provides a supportive space to deepen understanding and connection. -
Marriage counselling is most effective when both partners are willing to participate openly and take responsibility for their part in the relationship. It tends to be less effective when one or both partners attend primarily to prove a point, assign blame, or have already emotionally disengaged from the relationship. Counselling can also stall when communication outside sessions becomes hostile or when patterns of control, contempt, or avoidance continue unchecked.
Progress takes time and requires honesty, consistency, and a shared commitment to change — even when the process feels uncomfortable. A psychologist can help guide the work, but lasting improvement depends on both partners being willing to reflect, take small risks toward vulnerability, and apply what’s learned between sessions.
To take the next step, book an confidential online session with psychologist Kylie Walls and access compassionate, trauma-informed support wherever you are in Australia.
Hi, I’m Kylie Walls, a registered psychologist and the founder of Refuge Psychology.
My practice is shaped by professional experience, research, and a long-standing commitment to supporting people navigating complex emotional, relational, and faith-related experiences. I have worked with individuals from a wide range of backgrounds and faith traditions, and I have also held volunteer and professional roles within church and ministry contexts. These experiences have deepened my understanding of the unique dynamics that can arise when wellbeing, identity, and faith intersect — and the importance of care that is both sensitive and clinically grounded.
I have published research on control, attachment, and emotional regulation, and have previously worked as a Domestic and Family Violence Advisor within a faith-based organisation. I began my career as a teacher and later spent time working in photography, but my ongoing interest in people — their stories, relationships, and inner worlds — led me into psychological practice. I bring both professional and lived experience to my work in a way that is clinically grounded, respectful, and client-led.
ABOUT KYLIE
Areas of Interest
I offer support to adults who may be:
Managing general mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, stress, grief, or life transitions — whether or not these are connected to faith or ministry.
Navigating confusing, painful, or high-pressure experiences in church or ministry environments, including those recovering from spiritual abuse, coercion, or high-control faith settings, including cults.
Pastors, ministry leaders, and caregivers experiencing stress, burnout, role strain, or relational challenges within ministry or leadership roles.
Experiencing domestic and family violence, coercive control, or destructive relationship patterns — whether in intimate partnerships, family, community, or faith-based contexts.
Experiencing scrupulosity / Religious OCD or distress related to rigid or fear-based beliefs.
Facing workplace challenges, including bullying, power imbalances, role strain, or organisational conflict, and the emotional toll these experiences can create.
Couples seeking support around communication, connection, conflict patterns, recovery after relational harm, infidelity, or navigating values and expectations within relationships.
Inclusive and Client-Led Care
While I have a particular interest in supporting people from faith backgrounds, I welcome clients from all backgrounds. My focus is on providing compassionate, trauma-informed, and ethical psychological care that honours each person’s values, experiences, and goals for wellbeing.
This is a collaborative space, shaped by your needs and values.
About Kylie Walls
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Qualifications
Registered Psychologist - Psychology Board of Australia
Registered Teacher (Qld)
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Education
Master of Psychological Practice, CSU
Master of Guidance & Counselling, QUT
Bachelor of Psychology, UNE
Bachelor of Ed/Bachelor of Music, UQ
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Associations
Australian Association of Psychologists (AAPi)
International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST)
Christian Counsellors Association of Australia (CCAA)
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Additional Training
Individual Schema Therapy
Couples Schema Therapy
Gottman Couples Therapy
EMDR Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy
CBT, DBT, ERP
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Published Research
Investigated coercive control, attachment styles, emotion regulation, and shame in intimate relationships.
Journal of Family Violence
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Focus Areas / Special Interests
Mental health challenges · Relational and family difficulties · Domestic and family violence · Workplace stress and burnout · Recovery from harmful or high-control relationships and systems · Faith-based harm and spiritual abuse · Ministry-related stress and support · Scrupulosity (Religious OCD) · Couples therapy and relationship counselling
View the Lastes on the Refuge Psychology Blog
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