Psychological support for Marriage Breakdown & Betrayal

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"Growth happens when we process our pain, seek clarity, and make decisions that honour our values, safeguard our emotional health, and consider the well-being of those we care for"

The end of a marriage or long-term relationship—especially one marked by betrayal—can leave you feeling shattered, confused, and alone. Whether you're navigating infidelity, emotional abandonment, or the gradual erosion of trust, it's common to question your worth, your choices, and your future. At Curated Mind Psychology, support is available to help you process the pain, rebuild your sense of self, and begin to heal. You don’t have to make sense of it all on your own.

How can I tell the difference between an abusive, destructive relationship and general unhappiness within my marriage?

Distinguishing between an abusive, destructive relationship and general unhappiness in marriage can be difficult, but there are key differences to consider. In an abusive relationship, the patterns of behaviour often involve control, manipulation, emotional, verbal, or physical harm. There may be threats, belittling, intimidation, or other actions that make you feel unsafe, powerless, or fearful. Abuse erodes your sense of self-worth and can make you feel trapped or isolated.

​Unfaithfulness, emotional neglect, or a partner who consistently demonstrates a lack of care or empathy can also create significant pain in a relationship. While these behaviours may not involve direct abuse, they still contribute to deep emotional harm and can be destructive to the foundation of trust and connection in a marriage. A partner who is emotionally neglectful or unfaithful might dismiss your needs, disregard your feelings, or withdraw affection, making you feel invisible or uncared for.

In contrast, general unhappiness within a marriage often stems from factors like communication breakdowns, unmet emotional needs despite a well-meaning partner, or external stressors. These challenges can lead to discontent, but typically don’t involve harmful overtly neglectrul, or controlling behaviours.

​If you're unsure of what you're experiencing, seeking support from a professional can help you work through your unique situation. A therapist can guide you in exploring your feelings, understanding the dynamics of your relationship, and considering your options in a safe, nonjudgmental space. This process can help you gain clarity on what steps may be best for your emotional and mental well-being, as well as provide support as you navigate this difficult time.

If I am experiencing relaitonship breakdown and betrayal, it is better to get individual or couples therapy

Whether individual therapy or couples therapy is more suitable depends on your unique situation and needs. If you're facing the aftermath of marriage breakdown or betrayal, both individual and couples therapy can offer valuable support. Individual therapy allows you to process your emotions, heal from trauma, and gain clarity on what you want moving forward. Couples therapy, on the other hand, can help both partners address relationship dynamics, rebuild trust, and work through issues together.

Trauma recovery is not about erasing the past but learning to move forward with strength and self-compassion. Support is available.

​Is it possible for a marriage to survive betrayal

Yes, it is possible for a marriage to survive betrayal, but it depends on many factors. Both partners need to be willing to engage in healing, rebuild trust, and work through the pain caused by betrayal. It’s essential to explore the root causes of the betrayal, the emotional impact it’s had on both individuals, and whether both partners are committed to the healing process. Forgiveness, clear communication, and a willingness to change behaviours are all important aspects of rebuilding a relationship after betrayal. However, the process can be long and challenging, and not all couples may be ready or able to rebuild their marriage. I will support you in processing your feelings, understanding the dynamics at play, and deciding what steps are healthiest for you, your partner, and your relationship.

  • “Effective therapy attends carefully to issues of safety, power, and emotional harm.”

  • “Therapy attends carefully to issues of safety, power, and emotional harm.”

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  • “Change can involve grief alongside growth.”

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My Primary Therapy Modalities:

Schema Therapy - Individual and Couples (Primary Modality)

Schema Therapy is my primary modality, and is an evidence-based psychological approach that supports the processing of trauma and helps people understand and change long-standing patterns of thinking, feeling, and relating that often develop in response to unmet emotional needs or adverse early experiences. It is particularly helpful for individuals who notice repeated relational patterns, entrenched coping responses, or ongoing difficulties with self-worth, emotions, or boundaries.

Schema Therapy uses a range of techniques, including cognitive strategies to identify and challenge unhelpful beliefs, experiential techniques such as imagery and chair work to process emotional and relational experiences, and behavioural strategies to support new, healthier patterns of coping. The therapeutic relationship itself is also an important part of the work, providing a corrective emotional experience that supports healing, emotional regulation, and lasting relational change.


Cognitive Behavioural Therapy & Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP)

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based approach that focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour that contribute to emotional distress. It supports people to develop practical skills for managing symptoms, improving coping, and responding to challenges in more balanced and adaptive ways.

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is a specialised, evidence-based form of therapy used primarily to treat obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) and related anxiety conditions. It involves gradually and safely facing feared thoughts, situations, or sensations while learning to resist compulsive or avoidance behaviours, helping reduce anxiety and build confidence over time.


Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence-based therapy designed to help people process and resolve traumatic or distressing memories that continue to impact their emotional wellbeing. By using bilateral stimulation while recalling difficult experiences, EMDR supports the brain’s natural healing processes, reducing the intensity of trauma-related distress and helping memories become less overwhelming over time.


Gottman Therapy & Emotionally Foused Therapy (Couples & Relationships)

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based, attachment-informed approach that helps individuals and couples understand, experience, and express emotions in healthier ways. It focuses on identifying emotional patterns and strengthening secure connection, supporting deeper emotional safety, responsiveness, and lasting relational change.

The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is an evidence-based approach to relationship therapy grounded in decades of research on what helps relationships thrive or break down. It focuses on strengthening friendship, improving communication and conflict management, increasing emotional connection, and reducing patterns such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and withdrawal through practical, structured interventions.

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Have questions about support for marriage breakdown & Betrayal?

Q&A
  • Yes. If you have a current Mental Health Treatment Plan from your GP, you may be eligible to receive a Medicare rebate for up to 10 individual psychology sessions per calendar year. These rebates help reduce the out-of-pocket cost for each session. You’ll need to provide a copy of your referral letter and MHTP prior to your first appointment.

  • Although there are some presentations that I cannot safely treat online, I work with individuals experiencing a range of mental health concerns, from mild anxiety or low mood through to more complex challenges such as PTSD, dissociation, religious trauma, and OCD. If your presentation is more complex, I will work collaboratively with your broader care team (e.g., psychiatrist, GP, or support worker) where appropriate, to ensure you receive safe and effective care.
    Online therapy is offered as long as it is deemed clinically appropriate and safe for your specific needs.

  • Yes. Research shows that online therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face sessions for a wide range of concerns, including depression, anxiety, trauma, and relationship issues. It also offers convenience, privacy, and access to support regardless of location. All sessions are conducted via a secure telehealth platform.


  • Yes. The end of a marriage often brings grief, confusion, and a sense of loss — not only of the relationship, but of shared dreams, family routines, and spiritual identity. Many people describe feeling as though the ground beneath them has shifted.

    Therapy provides a safe space to process these emotions, understand what has happened, and begin to rebuild a sense of stability and hope. As a psychologist, I work with you to explore the impact of the separation, strengthen coping skills, and support you in rediscovering who you are outside the relationship. Healing takes time, but recovery is possible.

  • Even when separation is necessary, it can still feel devastating. You may grieve the loss of the relationship you hoped for, or feel anger at betrayal, unmet promises, or years of effort that didn’t bring change. These emotions are natural responses to loss and disillusionment, not signs of failure.

    Therapy can help you process the pain, release self-blame, and find ways to channel anger into healing and personal growth.

  • Betrayal, whether emotional, physical, or spiritual, strikes at the core of safety and trust. Many people describe symptoms similar to trauma — intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and difficulty trusting themselves or others.

    In therapy, we focus on understanding the impact of betrayal and rebuilding your sense of stability and self-worth. You don’t have to decide right away whether forgiveness or reconciliation are possible; therapy can help you discern what recovery and safety mean for you, and what boundaries or choices will best support your wellbeing.

  • When infidelity, deception, or emotional harm happen within a marriage of faith, the pain often runs deeper. It can shake your spiritual foundations, leaving you questioning where God was in it all, or whether you failed in some way. You might also feel conflicted by church messages about forgiveness, endurance, or divorce.

    In therapy, there is space to explore both the psychological and spiritual impact of what’s happened — without judgment or pressure. Together we can process grief, anger, and confusion, and begin to rebuild a sense of faith and identity that feels authentic, compassionate, and grounded in your lived experience.

  • Yes. Many people experience shame after separation, particularly when faith or cultural expectations emphasise marriage permanence or discourage divorce. You may fear judgment from your community or feel like you no longer “fit.”

    Therapy can help you challenge internalised shame and reclaim a sense of dignity and self-worth. It can also provide support in navigating community responses and finding safe spaces where you can be seen, understood, and valued without stigma.

  • Forgiveness is often misunderstood as excusing harm or rushing toward reconciliation. In reality, healing and forgiveness — if and when they come — are gradual processes that begin with safety, truth, and emotional honesty.

    Therapy can help you explore what forgiveness means for you, how to release resentment without minimising harm, and how to move toward peace, whether or not the relationship continues. In faith-sensitive therapy, this may include integrating your spiritual beliefs in a way that supports your recovery rather than compounds guilt or pressure.

To take the next step, book an confidential online session with psychologist Kylie Walls and access compassionate, trauma-informed support wherever you are in Australia.

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Hi, I’m Kylie Walls, a registered psychologist and the founder of Refuge Psychology.

My practice is shaped by professional experience, research, and a long-standing commitment to supporting people navigating complex emotional, relational, and faith-related experiences. I have worked with individuals from a wide range of backgrounds and faith traditions, and I have also held volunteer and professional roles within church and ministry contexts. These experiences have deepened my understanding of the unique dynamics that can arise when wellbeing, identity, and faith intersect — and the importance of care that is both sensitive and clinically grounded.

I have published research on control, attachment, and emotional regulation, and have previously worked as a Domestic and Family Violence Advisor within a faith-based organisation. I began my career as a teacher and later spent time working in photography, but my ongoing interest in people — their stories, relationships, and inner worlds — led me into psychological practice. I bring both professional and lived experience to my work in a way that is clinically grounded, respectful, and client-led.

ABOUT KYLIE

About Kylie

Areas of Interest


I offer support to adults who may be:

  • Managing general mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, stress, grief, or life transitions — whether or not these are connected to faith or ministry.

  • Navigating confusing, painful, or high-pressure experiences in church or ministry environments, including those recovering from spiritual abuse, coercion, or high-control faith settings, including cults.

  • Pastors, ministry leaders, and caregivers experiencing stress, burnout, role strain, or relational challenges within ministry or leadership roles.

  • Experiencing domestic and family violence, coercive control, or destructive relationship patterns — whether in intimate partnerships, family, community, or faith-based contexts.

  • Experiencing scrupulosity / Religious OCD or distress related to rigid or fear-based beliefs.

  • Facing workplace challenges, including bullying, power imbalances, role strain, or organisational conflict, and the emotional toll these experiences can create.

  • Couples seeking support around communication, connection, conflict patterns, recovery after relational harm, infidelity, or navigating values and expectations within relationships.

Inclusive and Client-Led Care
While I have a particular interest in supporting people from faith backgrounds, I welcome clients from all backgrounds. My focus is on providing compassionate, trauma-informed, and ethical psychological care that honours each person’s values, experiences, and goals for wellbeing.


This is a collaborative space, shaped by your needs and values.

About Kylie

My Approach is…

evidence based

Support is grounded in well-established psychological research and clinical approaches shown to be effective, while remaining responsive to your needs and goals.

compassionate

Care is offered with warmth, empathy, and respect, creating a safe space where you can be heard with understanding.

Trauma-informed

Therapy recognises the impact of past and present trauma, prioritising your safety, choice, and sense of control throughout the process. Trauma-informed approaches are used.

respectful of your unique situation, beliefs and story

Support is tailored to your lived experience, values, and worldview, with sensitivity to cultural, spiritual, and personal contexts.

View the Lastes on the Refuge Psychology Blog

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