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Refuge Psychology Blog

Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls

Why People Join, Stay in & become complicit in Spiritually Abusive Environments

Spiritual abuse in high-control religious environments often draws people in through love-bombing, trauma patterns, or authority dynamics. This article explores why people join, stay, or become complicit in spiritually abusive churches, using insights from psychology, coercive control, and betrayal trauma. Learn how power, obedience, and gaslighting keep people trapped—and how Christian psychology support can help survivors find healing, autonomy, and freedom.

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The Hidden Harm: Understanding Adult Clergy Sexual Exploitation and the Vulnerabilities of Survivors

Understanding adult clergy sexual exploitation requires insight into spiritual abuse and the psychological dynamics that make victims more vulnerable. This article explores how cognitive dissonance, schema chemistry, and reverence for spiritual leaders can cloud victims' perceptions, making abuse harder to recognize. Highlighting the importance of appropriate vulnerability in relationships and the misuse of pastoral authority, it addresses the spiritual harm victims experience.

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Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls

Exploitation: Understanding the Patterns of Betrayal and Abuse

Adult clergy sexual exploitation is not an ‘affair’ but a betrayal of trust, power, and spiritual authority. This article explains the stages of grooming in clergy sexual abuse, highlighting patterns of coercive control, manipulation, and boundary violations. Learn how grooming erodes autonomy, the profound psychological and spiritual impact on survivors, and why survivor-centred, trauma-informed responses are essential for healing, justice, and safer faith communities.

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When Choice Isn’t Really Choice: The Reality of Coercion

Coercion can appear in relationships, workplaces, churches, and faith communities through emotional pressure, manipulation, withholding, and spiritual abuse. This article explains the meaning of coercion, coercive control, and subtle threats, showing how they erode autonomy, trust, and wellbeing. Learn how coercion impacts intimacy, family, leadership, and religious settings, and discover strategies to recognise coercive behaviour, break unhealthy patterns, and seek safe, trauma-informed support

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Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls

Unmasking Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse

Adult clergy sexual abuse is not an affair—it is exploitation rooted in power imbalance, grooming, and spiritual abuse. In Emily’s story, we see how manipulation, secrecy, and distorted theology erode trust and cause lasting trauma. This article explains the signs of clergy abuse, the psychology of grooming, and pathways to healing. Christian psychology support is available through Refuge Psychology with registered psychologist Kylie Walls.

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Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls Spiritual Abuse, Abusive Relationships Kylie Walls

The Pain of Being Scapegoated in a Church Community

Scapegoating occurs when blame or shame is unfairly placed on one person or group, often silencing those who raise concerns. In churches and faith communities, scapegoating can appear through shunning, silence, or distorted narratives. Psychological theories such as displacement, social identity, cognitive dissonance, and obedience to authority help explain why communities avoid confronting systemic issues. This article explores the impact of scapegoating in spiritual contexts.

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Spiritual Abuse: Understanding, Recovering, and escaping the invisible cage

Spiritual abuse and coercive control can leave deep psychological, emotional, and spiritual scars. This article explains how manipulation, misuse of scripture, and clergy exploitation erode autonomy and faith. Learn how spiritual abuse impacts identity, mental health, and relationships—and why independent, trauma-informed care and Christian psychology support are essential for recovery, resilience, and healing in faith contexts.

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Understanding Control in Relationships: Insights from Our Latest Research

Why do some people use control in relationships? Research led by psychologist Kylie Walls (2024) links controlling behaviours to insecure attachment, emotion dysregulation, and shame. This article explores how anxious and avoidant attachment styles contribute to unhealthy dynamics and how therapies like EFT, DBT, and shame resilience work can foster emotional safety, healthier communication, and healing in couples. Includes Christian psychology support.

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When Love Becomes an Invisible Cage: Recognising the Signs of Coercive Control and Emotional Abuse, and Religious Abuse

Coercive control and emotional abuse often begin subtly—masked as concern, faith, or guidance—before escalating into an invisible cage of fear, guilt, and isolation. This article explores the signs of coercive control, emotional and spiritual abuse, and the devastating psychological impacts. Learn how to recognise red flags in relationships, why early intervention matters, and how professional Christian psychology support can provide healing, autonomy, and recovery from abuse.

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About Kylie

Hi, I’m Kylie Walls, a registered psychologist and the founder of Refuge Psychology.

My practice is shaped by professional experience, research, and a long-standing commitment to supporting people navigating complex emotional, relational, and faith-related experiences. I have worked with individuals from a wide range of backgrounds and faith traditions, and I have also held volunteer and professional roles within church and ministry contexts. These experiences have deepened my understanding of the unique dynamics that can arise when wellbeing, identity, and faith intersect — and the importance of care that is both sensitive and clinically grounded.

I have published research on control, attachment, and emotional regulation, and have previously worked as a Domestic and Family Violence Advisor within a faith-based organisation. I began my career as a teacher and later spent time working in photography, but my ongoing interest in people — their stories, relationships, and inner worlds — led me into psychological practice. I bring both professional and lived experience to my work in a way that is clinically grounded, respectful, and client-led.

About Kylie

Areas of Interest

Areas of Special Interest
I offer support to adults who may be:

  • Managing general mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, stress, grief, or life transitions — whether or not these are connected to faith or ministry.

  • Navigating confusing, painful, or high-pressure experiences in church or ministry environments, including those recovering from spiritual abuse, coercion, or high-control faith settings, including cults.

  • Pastors, ministry leaders, and caregivers experiencing stress, burnout, role strain, or relational challenges within ministry or leadership roles.

  • Experiencing domestic and family violence, coercive control, or destructive relationship patterns — whether in intimate partnerships, family, community, or faith-based contexts.

  • Experiencing scrupulosity / Religious OCD or distress related to rigid or fear-based beliefs.

  • Facing workplace challenges, including bullying, power imbalances, role strain, or organisational conflict, and the emotional toll these experiences can create.

  • Couples seeking support around communication, connection, conflict patterns, recovery after relational harm, infidelity, or navigating values and expectations within relationships.

Inclusive and Client-Led Care
While I have a particular interest in supporting people from faith backgrounds, I welcome clients from all backgrounds. My focus is on providing compassionate, trauma-informed, and ethical psychological care that honours each person’s values, experiences, and goals for wellbeing.


This is a collaborative space, shaped by your needs and values.

About Kylie