The blogRefuge Psychology Blog
Why People Join, Stay in & become complicit in Spiritually Abusive Environments
Spiritual abuse in high-control religious environments often draws people in through love-bombing, trauma patterns, or authority dynamics. This article explores why people join, stay, or become complicit in spiritually abusive churches, using insights from psychology, coercive control, and betrayal trauma. Learn how power, obedience, and gaslighting keep people trapped—and how Christian psychology support can help survivors find healing, autonomy, and freedom.
Family Estrangement: Grappling with the Pain and Confusion
A exploration of family estrangement, faith, trauma, religious trauma and boundaries — examining when distance becomes necessary and how healing can occur with compassion and discernment.
When Faith Harms: Understanding Religious Trauma in the Family
Religious trauma can develop within family systems shaped by control, silence, and spiritual authority. This article explores lived experiences of those who have experienced spiritual abuse, coercive control and domestic violence in religious families.
Scrupulosity and Attachment to God: Why Early Bonds Can Make Faith, Life and God Feel Scary
Scrupulosity—religious OCD—can make faith feel like constant fear of disappointing God. Psychologist Kylie Walls explains that these struggles often stem from deeper attachment patterns shaped in childhood and reinforced by harmful spiritual environments. When leaders are controlling or shaming, the nervous system may learn to view God the same way. Healing is possible with supportive, evidence-based therapy.
The Importance of Exploring Our Past: Lessons from an Old House
Unresolved trauma is like cracks in the foundation—hidden but damaging over time. This article explores how past experiences, family dynamics, and institutional harm (including spiritual abuse and religious trauma) shape mental health today. Learn why therapy often revisits the past to repair these foundations and build resilience. Refuge Psychology, with Christian psychologist Kylie Walls, offers compassionate support for healing from abuse, trauma, and faith-related challenges.
What Adult Grooming Is and how it overlaps with Coercive Control
Understand how grooming operates in adult, faith, and professional settings. A faith-sensitive psychologist explains the psychology of grooming across contexts, manipulation, power imbalance, and recovery after spiritual or relational betrayal.
The Hidden Harm: Understanding Adult Clergy Sexual Exploitation and the Vulnerabilities of Survivors
Understanding adult clergy sexual exploitation requires insight into spiritual abuse and the psychological dynamics that make victims more vulnerable. This article explores how cognitive dissonance, schema chemistry, and reverence for spiritual leaders can cloud victims' perceptions, making abuse harder to recognize. Highlighting the importance of appropriate vulnerability in relationships and the misuse of pastoral authority, it addresses the spiritual harm victims experience.
Understanding Adult Clergy Exploitation: Understanding the Patterns of Betrayal and Abuse
Adult clergy sexual exploitation is not an ‘affair’ but a betrayal of trust, power, and spiritual authority. This article explains the stages of grooming in clergy sexual abuse, highlighting patterns of coercive control, manipulation, and boundary violations. Learn how grooming erodes autonomy, the profound psychological and spiritual impact on survivors, and why survivor-centred, trauma-informed responses are essential for healing, justice, and safer faith communities.
About KylieHi, I’m Kylie Walls, a registered psychologist and the founder of Refuge Psychology.
My practice is shaped by professional experience, research, and a long-standing commitment to supporting people navigating complex emotional, relational, and faith-related experiences. I have worked with individuals from a wide range of backgrounds and faith traditions, and I have also held volunteer and professional roles within church and ministry contexts. These experiences have deepened my understanding of the unique dynamics that can arise when wellbeing, identity, and faith intersect — and the importance of care that is both sensitive and clinically grounded.
I have published research on control, attachment, and emotional regulation, and have previously worked as a Domestic and Family Violence Advisor within a faith-based organisation. I began my career as a teacher and later spent time working in photography, but my ongoing interest in people — their stories, relationships, and inner worlds — led me into psychological practice. I bring both professional and lived experience to my work in a way that is clinically grounded, respectful, and client-led.
Areas of Interest
Areas of Special Interest
I offer support to adults who may be:
Managing general mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, stress, grief, or life transitions — whether or not these are connected to faith or ministry.
Navigating confusing, painful, or high-pressure experiences in church or ministry environments, including those recovering from spiritual abuse, coercion, or high-control faith settings, including cults.
Pastors, ministry leaders, and caregivers experiencing stress, burnout, role strain, or relational challenges within ministry or leadership roles.
Experiencing domestic and family violence, coercive control, or destructive relationship patterns — whether in intimate partnerships, family, community, or faith-based contexts.
Experiencing scrupulosity / Religious OCD or distress related to rigid or fear-based beliefs.
Facing workplace challenges, including bullying, power imbalances, role strain, or organisational conflict, and the emotional toll these experiences can create.
Couples seeking support around communication, connection, conflict patterns, recovery after relational harm, infidelity, or navigating values and expectations within relationships.
Inclusive and Client-Led Care
While I have a particular interest in supporting people from faith backgrounds, I welcome clients from all backgrounds. My focus is on providing compassionate, trauma-informed, and ethical psychological care that honours each person’s values, experiences, and goals for wellbeing.
This is a collaborative space, shaped by your needs and values.
